Archive | November, 2011

Non-Booze Therapy: Alot of Advice (apologies to Hyperbole and a Half)

1 Nov

Because some people might not be so into booze as therapy (what? whyyyy???), we figured we’d offer an alternative in the form of an advice column.

Artist's rendering of Alotsky Ovechkin.Credit: Hyperbole and a Half. Not pictured: Alot of hockey gear; Alot of missing teeth.

Now it’s time to meet your advice columnist, Alotsky Ovechkin!

Q. Dear Alotsky Ovechkin,

I am missing alot of my front teeth, and sometimes people–especially girls–find it hard to look at me. You’re missing some front teeth, but you’ve got girls all over you. What’s your secret?

–Amateur Hockey Leaguer

A. Dear AHL,

Alot not know why for to share feelings with. Alot just want to be left alone.

However, Alot offer advice because Alot like hockey. Alot hairy, so good in cold. Alot also have cousin, Alexander Ovechkin.

Alot suggest hockey player for to focus on beauty inside. Alot think teeth not barrier to fulfilling relationship. Alot find many pretty girl with ugly mind.

–A. Ovechkin

Need Alot of Advice? Just post a comment in response to this article and we’ll make this a recurring feature!